Monday, August 31, 2009
I'm not working these few weeks.. There wasn't time slot that need me for the month. Thus i'm very very free for like 2, 3 weeks' weekends?? Hmm.. Been staying at home or going to supermarket with papa. Not that i'm filial.. Haha. More of my papa would pay for everything that i wanted. =P
Went shopping with my sis on sat. Shopped at t1 and pp. Realised the f3 shops at pp closed down. Even the kfc that we wanted to tabao home closed down for renovation. In the end, we travelled down to sing post to tabao.. Well, i had free unlimited bus rides.. I love concession!!
PS: Why is it that whenever i made up my mind to give up on something, co-incidents would happen as though telling me not to give up.. Why?? It will just make things more difficult, harder to give up.. (Maybe i'm thinking too much again..)
Will my tears please go back.. 8:46:00 AM
Monday, August 17, 2009
Went Parkway Parade with my papa yesterday. My purpose was to print a few photos only but in the end after shopping, i managed to get a bag from me papa. I considerd for a long time to buy or not and in the end, i still bought it. It cost 60 plus. To the very broke me, it's very very ex.. But, it's a gift from my dad in the end. HaHaHa. LOVE HIM!! ><
I'm suppose to go out with my sis however, she ps me and went out with her friends in the end. =_=. But her friend bought me chocolate and it's one of my favourite type so you guys were forgiven. (Oh my gosh. It seems like i'm so easily bought by chocolates.. No way!!) Anyway, it wouldn't be that easy for the next time Ed!!!
I'm bored, I'm busy. I gave the next month days that i could work for my manager. Apparantly, I gave almost everyday. From my holiday onwards, other than wed and fri that i have tuition, i gave them as available working dates. Anyway, it's only for a month. I can't work as much for my oct holi..
PS: I need to get over i guess. Or should say there won't be any changes even if i don't.. I might as well move on...
Will my tears please go back.. 8:42:00 AM
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Once again, i'm lost. Lost in my thoughts, lost in my direction. Out of a sudden, it seems that someone messed up my schedule for life, erased my datas that i wrote for my celender and so on. Overall, i can't differentiate between what i should do and what i should not do.
Once again, i'm hurt. Hurt by the people close to me, hurt by people i consider important in my life. I don't even know what's the part that i'm wrong in. Wrong in expressing my feeling too much. I should hide them. I should not have shown. I should not have been myself. My fake self will be coming out again. A person that i don't even know of...
Will someone please find the unseen me?
Will someone just save me from this agony?
Will it be better if i just disregard everything?
Will it be better if i just dissolve away in thin air?
Will I feel better if i throw away
unnecessary emotions?
Will I be able to let go of things and take into account of nothing-ness?
Will someone see me through me and find the real me?
PS: I need a break... Seriously need one...
Will my tears please go back.. 9:14:00 AM
He started to avoid me. How and why i don't really know. But most probably he found out in a way that i'm most unwilling for him to find out with. Sad? Quite. More of lost. I have been circling in my own world around him for way too long that now that i was forced to stop, i couldn't find my way anymore.
But can i comment that he's also a coward?? A coward who doesn't even dare or willing to face someone who like him. I mean i wouldn't bug you at all. I wouldn't even force you to accept anything or even force you to face me, talk to me. I wouldn't. You really don't have to avoid me. I will avoid you if that's what you really want..
PS: I don't feel sad.. Not to the verge that i will keep crying. I'm just lost and i need to find my way back or even find a new way...
I'm sick again. Great. My parents haven't been very understanding towards me in things. In my house, i seems to be someone quite invisible to an extent. Someone that could be not there unless needed. I'm not trying to complain anything. But it just seems that to them, i'm another person that i don't even know of myself. I don't like this thinking. I should stop.. Bye.
Will my tears please go back.. 8:57:00 AM