I wish that you were mine.

Went in to Malaysia last night. It was a trip to eat!! I guess i might have gain at least 2 kg lor. I kept eating, eating, eating. FULL!!! Even till now i still feel the fullness. When going over, was jammed in a heavy traffic near the custom and was in car for at least 3 hours before we reach Malaysia!! I regretted not eating anything before heading there. D=

But anyway, i'm so tired!! Gonna sleep early today. Tata



Okie.. I don't feel that well at all. I feel like crap. My friends who hang out with me the whole day commented that i just look like half dead. I wanted to go home early originally. But i don't think others' could clock out for me as there's a scary technician sitting right beside the clock out machine, very particular about us having the temperature scanned stickers, our attire and other minor things and will even check our card sometimes to check if we're not clocking out for others'.. Oh great! How i wish i could just ignore like other people could. I got no choice but to stay in school, half-dead, and i slept for like 2 or 3 hours in my lab with Cas and Denise sitting right beside me enjoying their game and movie. They were so paranoid when i said i feel sick and keep asking me to walk through the temperature scanning area to check if i'm alright and free from H!N!. Lucky for me, by the time i walk past, my temperature had already drop. I just feel cold the whole day and feels super giddy.. Other than that, i'm totally fine.

PS: I fell asleep again once i reach home and i'm still super tired. The problem is, i've to drag myself to tuition about now. Great! *_*



I just reached home not long ago and here i am blogging. Not feeling anything nor it's that something happened. Just simply feel like blogging.

Let me start from yesterday..

Jordan was absent again. He had 2days mc so readily that i was left alone. Cas and Denise were really great in keeping me entertained as usual. We had damn lots of fun. I was suppose to be feeling upset due to the 'Early in the morning incident--thanks to my stupid big mouth.. But it's over and i guess i got forgiven.'. However FangQi really cheered me up by sensing my unusual-ness. After which, i'm fine and cheerful again. Thanks babe.

Back to Cas and Denise, the 3 of us went over to Cas house for lunch and we ended up cam whoring the whole day that we forgot totally about the time. When we finally realise, it's already 3.45pm. Omg. We spend 3 hours plus and time really flies past fast when you are having fun. In the end, we reach school around 4.30pm and we went over my lab to watch videos and not long later it's 5.30pm already. Pretty amazing huh. That's how i spend a day completely.

I wasn't really feeling that well. Reason: i'm not sure. Maybe it's that my existence got completely ignored by him twice. That's kinda lame but, i just had that uncomfortable feeling. Like that a bag of air suffocating in my insides, around my chest and throat area. It doesn't make me moody nor i feel good about it. I just feel like thrashing things out, vent everything out without any anger within. That's weird. It's the 1st time i had this kind of feeling. Thus, again i called FangQi and she just allow me to blabber on and on and on about all the things that's going on my mind. She says it's common as i keep feeling as though there's something wrong with myself. As though feeling-less. Hmm. But i got over it after a nice nap. (I slept with my contacts again and it hurts when i wake.)

When i wake, i start chatting with Babe and she really persuaded me into making a first move which i'm so afraid of. It really make sense all the time. I just didn't want to spoil the little bit of distance in between that i finally got hold of. I hate this fear. It's just so not me. The daring WeiQi didn't dare to face up with relationship. But she's really a great help. We just had our "you think i will this.. you think i got that.." conversations and we reassured our self by looking deep into our self with our clearest mirror. Does it sound complicated? But to me i understand what i typing pretty well and i guess Babe will think the way as well. Really thanks lots once again. I feel so much better everything. Love ya. <3

Recieved a super super bad news about this friday that forces me to cancel out all my plans!! It goes like that. My cousin had this long distace relationship and he's coming over. (He's a ang moh!!) My cousin booked two superior rooms at Costa Sands Resort this friday. My brother, sister and i were asked to bring our friends over. The main thing was that this boyfriend of hers have a son. And we're suppose to mingle and make friend with him, make him see 'How good Asians people are and can be.' Isn't that lame?? I seriously don't see the point. I could have been enjoying myself at Malaysia with babe. Spending my night in a way that i prefer more instead of at such a weird place doing weird stuffs that i don't like. Why is there a need for me to entertain a guy that i don't know? I'm pretty sure that in the end, i will have to entertain him as my age gap is like the nearest to him as compared to my siblings. He is 18. OMG. Why am i even involved. I could really make good use of my time!! I mean, it's not as though i like this cousin of mine. I'm just giving face as she's an older sister and the only reason was the my siblings were involved and it's not as though they ask for it too. Haix. As i'm on the phone with babe at that time, i forced her to join me. I'm asking my poly friends tomorrow but whether they were free or not, at least there's still babe by my side accompanying me.


Anyway, regarding today..

I made a slight first move by messaging him asking him to come sit with me at the back as there's a seat beside me. It's just normal conversation. But we kept it carrying on. I really really tried my best and when we stop, i just hope and wish deep down that he's mine, someone that i could rely on. I want the trip to keep going on without stopping. But i know clearly that there will be stop for everything. Thus, as for my happy little moment, it lasted till i reached school.

During breakfast, it was still fine and we said hi and everything. What seems to went wrong or i'm thinking way too much again was after lunch. I just feel that it was not the same him from morning. Guys had mood swings too maybe.

But, anyway, while Cas is explaining about this Friday's staffs to Denise, i'm so sure he and his group of friends overheard and the last thing i remembered clearly that came out of my mouth was " I really don't feel good about it and i die also don't want to entertain that ang moh.. I mean why do i have to entertain him??" Great!!! =_= Haix..

Adam joined us for lunch today too. We just chit chatted and laugh together. There seems to be a lot of laughter (not knowing since when) whenever Cas, Denise and I were together.

Time flies fast today as well and all that we did after lunch were to play with facebook, watch youtube videos and that's about it.

I was amazed for my speed at clocking out today. I reached the bus stop at around 5.35pm and that was really fast considering me going to a few different places. When i reach the bus stop, as usual, my eyes would scan around. But, he's so not there at his usual would appear at place unless i missed my bus. When my bus came like 5 mins later, i saw him. He was there at the bus stop. Just that he's not at a place that i could see him. My as usual think to much stupid brain start running 'Is he avoiding me??'. Haix...

However, i was completely surprised that i didn't feel sad at all. I'm tired. But not a sign of moodiness emerge at all. I just feel normal...

I finally realise that i had really made up my mind. I would really really want to try to make my first move. I really want to at least try. I had known this long ago deep down. I don't want to have any regrets at all. I always know. Just that i'm afraid to fall. I calmed myself down and seriously thought of what i really want.

I had the answer. To make the very first move and keep trying. Even if i fail, i tried and will not regret myself for trying. If i failed, it's okie. I will want to stand up from where i fall. I didn't loss anything. I am still me. I guess i've stood at the starting point for too long a time. It's time that i make a move.

Looking back, out of a sudden, i realised. The real me was gone. Where is that crazy hyper-active girl that was always cheerful and positive for everything. She's gone. I don't really know what changed me but i made up my mind to find her back. It does sounds weird doesn't it?? Haha..


To JA: I completely don't know who you are nor can't i guess how i know you or who you are. However, the story really affected my thinking. I broods about it sometimes. And i made up my mind. I don't want to be like Leaf. Neither do i want tree to regret. As i believe Leaf will regret it too. It's just so pathetic to think this way.

To you or your friends whom might be reading my blog occasionally..

Especially for you.. Did you realise how long i've been looking at your back? Did you realise how much effort and courage i need to pluck up when i catch up upon you, trying to start up something between us that could interest you? Did you know how much you could affect me? Just your courteous smile, or a single sentence, or the small little action affects me. Did you know that there's alot of times whereby i was in a damn emo, damn foul mood, but just because of your little joke or caring-ness hidden within change my mood completely for the rest of the day. There's also a few occasions that i completely turn emo just because i'm not seen in front of you, completely ignored by you. Did you realise that you never catch up with people? It's always me chasing at the back. I do sense it sometimes that you're just faking. I have feelings too you know.. Since when did your existence become that much of importance to me. Maybe i'm being one-sided, or i'm thinking too much but i a girl. And i believe that sometimes my sixth sense really tells me things. But if, IF i'm wrong, thinking too much, could you please stopped giving me false hope, stop making my mind full of you, or even affect me so much. It might be my fault for sinking in so much. But, i'll try. Really. I just need you to be truthful. Not only to me, but to yourself too.

And to whoever that's reading my blog, i'm not ashamed of anything. Little bit embarrassed at admitting though.


PS: Some who knows might think he's not worth me sinking in that deep. But i did. I don't even want to care about what people thinks. It just the way i am. I trust and believe in my feelings were real. I'm quite sure that we could be really happy and we suits one another. I always had this feeling that you kept a barrier from yourself with others. I really hope that the one who could open up your heart is me. You might not have the confidence and courage for things, i'm willing to try. So, would you at the very least be truthful to yourself?

I might fall and be afraid of it.. But i'm not afraid of standing up again and i will.



Subject selection was today. My sister whack me to wake up and went back to sleep. Thanks. I tried logging in and it was expected that the web was jammed up. I waited for more than 2 hours but still got stuck at the same pages. In the end, my sister even wake up already and i still hasn't submit my subject selection. She tried by using her PC and we succeeded logging in in the end.

Here's my choices..
1st: Internetworking (My networking's not bad.. So i choose things that i can cope with.)

2nd: Advance animation (I didn't want this at first. But the very idea of one less exam is tempting and as to what i know, lots of my class people wanted that so ya..)

3rd: Mobile com. (Zu tell me she got assured by her CP that it's 50 percent theory and 50 percent calculation so i chose it.)

4th: Multimedia network (I's one of my first few choice at first but they heard it's 70 percent theory and 30 percent calculations. I hate memorising things.)

5th: Wireless technology. (It's programming.. And i sucked at it. ANd the very thinking that i might be taught by my own CP. Erm.. I chose not to take up the risk.)

Fingers crossed that i could be in the same class as my current class. But i know that i shouldn't put my hopes high..

So ya. After selecting, i went out with my sis as she complained that i ps her yesterday. We went to Orchard again and watched another movie. She kept wanting to watch 'Drag me to hell for weeks and nobody wanted to watch with her. In the end. I gave in. It was a stupid show that made me scream till my throat hurts when i leave the cinema. I screamed mostly not because there's alot of scary scenes. But i screamed mostly out of disgusting-ness!!!! Eeeew.. Simply grossed out. It's so disgusting! The old woman in it. Please.. If anyone wants to watched it, don't watch when you just finish your meals. Sadly, i did. Haha.

Ate at a jap - korean shop at the basement of cineleisure. It's again, super nice and cheap!! When we reach home at night, my sister say she got craving for it already when we only just ate it during lunch time. So, she's treating me to it the next time we're going out. Yeah!!




It's really nice!! Should go try it. Budget food.


She's so gonna kill me for putting her picture. Haha.

We didn't shop much and the dress that she eyed for were out of stock at both place we went. Too bad. We each bought a Tee at stitch and a bought another white shirt. Thus, at the end of the day, she's sulking as she didn't get what she wanted. We have to end early as i had to go teach tuition today and that made her even more pissed. Haha.


Saw this on my way to tuition. It looked nice and meaningful. "Love and Think". Hmm..

PS: School's starting soon.. Looking forward to it. =) I hope i could still be in the same class as most of my classmates!!!!! Seriously wishing....



Meet up with Cassandra and Denise originally thinking there will be lots of people.. But overall, we had lots of fun. First, we met up at Simei for lunch. The food were simply great and cheap. But, i forgot the shop name. =P

I didn't realise that the food looks that gross in pictures. But they really really taste nice.


I ate this. Sauce: Creamy mango--> Yummy!! Main ingredient: Mushroom. Top-up: Prawns and Salmon. Super nice!!!!!!


This was Denise's pasta. Sauce: Red and White. Main ingredient: Chicken sausage. Top-up: Sliced beef and i forgot. =P She said it's nice but i didn't try. She attempted to feed me. I didn't want to try Denise and Cas's pasta as they had beef in it.


Cassandra's pasta looked ummmm.. Lol. Sauce: Black pepper. Main ingredient: Mushroom. Top-up: minced beef and i forgot. =P Didn't try it too. But she commented it's nice.

We travelled to Orchard and the trip from city hall towards town is embarassing and funny.



She start leaning against the pole in funny posture and with a stupid face.

Afterwhich, Cas joined in..

They were making so much noise. And before the train reach somerset, both of them were debating Loudly with one another which stop to alight and in the end, denise got dragged out of the train. When we got out, she just stand by the door saying Loudly 'I want to take the train!!' I don't want to move!' Aiyo~ It's was damn funny la. She wanted to alight at Orchard and dimply refuse to walk. Cas and i just ignore and drag her up the escalator. They were simply hilarious. Lol..

Zuraida and Shi yong didnt come over to meet us in the end as their stupid team leader gave them more things to do at the last minute. =_= They make me feel super slack for not doing anything at all thoughout the term break.

We watched terminator salvation. Not a bad show.. But i didn'tcatch much things at the starting for not watching the previous terminators.

We were the last to leave the cinema. The seat beside me were empty all along and it was a couple seat. I simply enjoyed and make full use of the comfortness. =P Hehe.

We shopped around and had a super late dinner at subway. We were like almost their last customer and we tried out best to eat fast. We were still eating when the staffs start doing their closing. They were like playing random songs and while we were still eating, there was this song keep going on with 'it's closing time blah blah blah..' It's kind of funny. Like they purposely play that song to chase us away. Not as though we will know if it's real.. We just hurriedly finish our food and left. Well, i'm not a fan of subway at all but i enjoyed my meal. It's wasn't as bad as i thought or it tasted better than what i ate the first time i ate it.

PS: Having a girls day out only was quite fun. But lots of craps, bullshit-ing and funny things. =D



Realise i haven't been blogging since holiday.. Nothing much, go out movie, shop and slag at home(Mostly). I watch to watch Monster vs Aliens.. But no one can watch with me. Either they watched already or not interested. =( Whoever wants or can watch with me please tell me!!

Celebrated Mum's birthday last week. Had loads of fun. But, i ate too much again i guess. (I don't want to grow fatter still after holiday!!)


Went dinner celebration with my aunties and cousins -- there's only 3 family here. Ate lots of crabs. Yummy~~


Then we had balloon fight in the car. Erm.. Only the 3 of us were taken in the picture. (Mostly we were playing.) My other cousins insist that they have grown out of the age of playing. We made lots of noise in the car!!


Random. But nice!!


My hair's messy due to the fight. Wahaha.. (They keep hitting my head....)



This is a super super nice cheese cake!!! I wouldn't get sick of it lo. Just keep eating eating eating. Super YUM YUM!!!!!!



I went shopping with my parents. And bought lots of presents~~ Not only my mum's. I got a new pillow. It's call 'space pillow'. It's super comfy!! Mum and sis had one too.. I had great nights with it. It's GSS sale. So my parents just 'buy' things. It's her birthday. So she got lots of presents from my dad too.

We took turns to take picture. So whoever's missing is the camera man/lady.


My brother took this.


I took this.


My sister took this and insist that she take it best and complains that my brother and i had lousy camera skill..


My interview result: My friend's sister called and i'm sub-listed. Cheers. I have to plan out my timings and inform her as soon as possible for training and actual working dates. For now, i guess i found another job. =D



Friday

Directly after school, even before after school, i was dragged over to the sub-com camp by people calling my phone and coming to my lab. I was quite unwilling to at first. (I wanted to go home.) We sat at the engine concourse for ice breaking games and it was so embarassing for me as my lab was there and every one who walked out knows me, saw me straight and i have to wave. Normally, i'll be ks and camp downstairs with them chatting.

I got over the unwilling-ness soon enough after ice-breaking. My group was totally hilarious that they keep me entertained fully. We walked over kfc for dinner and my group was already very well bonded. (Must see who's leading them right.. =P)

Well, games session and i don't understand why the group that i take MUST run. Having no choice but to run too. The worse part is that all their barangs barangs start to be in my hands and i have to hug them and run!! I must look stupid. Had fun through the games, heard that my group did quite well. Nice one!

Had fun. Afterwhich, i forgot what we did only had a late night, slept only at about 3 .

Saturday

Kind of tired. I forgot that i have to wake my group the next day but most of them got up way before me. =P After everyone gather, having short of a few and i have to go back and find them. When i open their room door, a bunch of good buddys were all inside sitting and chatting. 2 was from my group. I wanted to go in but 1 of them tell me someone's changing clothes. I waited and ask them why the rest can't leave first but they just laugh. Feeling something's amiss, i walk inside to the direction that they were all staring at and i was stunned there and start laughing. I finally realise that the one of them bought a mini hair straightener and they were queuing up for their turn to use it. Aiyo. Then the other group's GL came over and i ask them to go in and see, they had the same reaction. It was super funny. They were more vain than girls. (*Rolling my eyes.)

We have to play games under the scorching sun. So hot. And my skin was red and painful at the end of the day. My group won the 1st empire of the camp. Yeah. (Must see who's leading them right..) Lol.

Sunday

Went to PP with my sis, mainly for lunch and printing of photographs for my mum. In the end, i spend around 30 plus in a day, less then 2 hours. Went back early, watch anime till night time. I guess i fall asleep infront of my tv again and missed out dinner due to too much junk food ate. Lol.

Monday

Went to Orchard for interview at my friend's sister shop. Did almost nothing much but sleep once i reach home. Just woke up. So, while waiting for dinner i'm blogging. Have to head back to school tomorrow and on Wednesday for the workshop called 'Up your service'. Feel so un-willing to go but i paid 20.50 for it. Have to report by 9. (THough it's term break, it's still almost like mp-sip. Why 9 of all timings? =/ )

Subject selection's coming up and i don't know what to choose. Guess my class will have to split again. Haix.. That's it for now.



I did a very embarrassing thing. I remembered the wrong place of meeting. Though i'm like earlier than the time we meet, i stupidly went to the wrong place! That's the problem with telling me dates and venue early. Prople should like book me in advance and only inform me of details a day or two before. Otherwise, i will just forget or remember wrongly!! Embarrassment.

I reached city hall happily that i'm early and both of us reached at almost the same time with only a few mins apart. So, she messaged me saying "I wait for you outside gardian". I walked over and she's not there. I loiter outside gardian, trying hard to find her. In the end, i got pissed and thought she hide somewhere and replied her "Did i go to the wrong place or what. I didn't see you anywhere.". She called.. "You're at bugis right? I didn't see you. Where are you?"

OMG!! I was there yelling to the phone aren't we going over to suntec. And after she mentioned that we agreed to have dinner at illuma, i remembered. I wasted a stupid trip lo. Feel so dump and irritated with my self. But i'm more like laughing at myself. So dumb! It's the joke of the day.

Dessert after dinner was super great. Felt super sinful again. (Again, i'm posting images tomorrow.)
Had a great chat. Now i agree with my sis that illuma is a great place to chit chat with your friend.

PS: I shouldn't think so much and negative about things. Maybe i should be more selfish for my own sake. (I'm just saying.)



I just came back from tuition. My mum's nagging again. It was totally fine when i left the house. I don't even know the cause of it, i don't even want to ask. I'll be finding my own trouble. I hate it when she like to drag every single person in the family into the picture when she's scolding someone. I don't understand at all why she likes to compare others' with us so much. She just keep going on and on and on. Why can't she understand what she expects is way too overboarding?? She combines all the good in others and just condemn and criticize us till like we're like worthless and nothing as compared to other people's kid. I hate it when she does this.
She just makes everyone in the family unhappy. That's all that she does when she is at home, nagging, screaming and shouting about everything that's within her range. Haix.. I can't even remember peace in my family anymore.

Meeting FangQi tomorrow, maybe to Suntec for dinner. I just want to go outside to relax before coming back home. I rather think i need that. Hahaha....

PS: I know i should stay strong. But sometimes, it's hard when people who are in the same boat as you ignores you completely. Well, big surprise~~



I posted the pictures!! Yeah. I kept my promise. Should be able to post them earlier however, my plan was disturbed by Cas and Denise disturbing me in my lab. Before lunch, Adam came over to so-call take movie from jordan and my hard disk. Irritating and noisy! Finally he left. Around 3 plus, Cas and Denise came over. OMG. But we manage to complete another animation and left rendering to do. We sent him too but our teacher including us didn't feel that it was a good job done at all. Well, i admit. We played a fool this whole week. Mr Oen was there:"In 10 days only like that??" Lol.. He knew we slacked through. He didn't say much. But he still expects us to do our stuffs though. Okie. I'll be a little bit more hardworking. =P (More on saying part only.. Hehe.)

School pc really sucks. The rendering there was super slow. I rendered for near 2 hours and only 30 plus frames completed out of 234 frames. OMG.. SLow slow!! In the end, i decide to bring home to render. Meanwhile, my c4d's rendering.. Slow.. But better than in school. At home, i only rendered for 1 hour and it reaches 90 plus frames already. Whoo~~!! Fast.. Haha.

But i'm super tired!! I want to doze off already. Zzz. This must be due to the weather. Hot and stuffy and sleepy. Haha. Continuing with my work. Stopping here.



Okie. Went over to Cas house for lunch, Pasta attempt II. The four of us Wrecked havoc in the kitchen. Outcome: I find it better than Pasta attempt I but Jordan prefers Pasta attempt I better. This was Denise's first try so she don't know which is better. The looks of this round wasn't that nice looking. (Better than previous. =P) I forgot whether i post the pics for Pasta attempt I but i would post this time's pictures. Okie. I just feel like blogging now. So maybe i will upload the images tomorrow. (Okie Okie~!! I promise i'll post them tomorrow when i'm in lab. I would have free time by then. 0)


My pasta.


Jordan's pasta. See the diff?? Mine has lesser oil and salt. Fine. Doesn't look as appealing too. Hey. I tossed his pasta too. Why look so different. Hmm.. Humph~!!


The so call bread pizza. Not bad to eat and is easy to make. At first cas was like keep asking her mum or should say forcing her mum to say that the previous night's attempt taste delicious and nice when we're making it. However, Cas mum replied: "It's not too bad. We ate and we survived through though.". Cas -->"HEY!!" LOL. Joke of the day.

Today's kind of busy. Jordan and i were actually 'chiong-ing' our log book and project out as we both agreed that we delayed too much. However, our teacher went home early. As to what i hear through our blurrish conversation, he had some neck pain problem. Will confirm it tomorrow when i see him. So, 7 weeks worth of log book left unsigned again. We left one thing to finalise and render thus, we didn't send the SMRT staff our animation too. Another thing left undone as to be expected.

Home trip today was joyous. First at the bus stop, Jordan was lying to me that he force his girlfriend to appear before his bus comes if not he's not sending her home. I was like ' What??? You're such a mean boyfriend! I thought she had lesson until 6?! I don't understand what eyes Jiamin have for you lor.. So on.. So forth..'

After that, he started smirking and say she arrived and i turn around realising that she was there all along. Both laughing. Stupid, irritating bastard. Then after 3 mins of chat, my bus came!! Jordan prayed for it to be full but it was empty. YiPeee~~

My trip back was so funny. Not stating the details.. WAhahaha.. =P Cooking dinner so that i can go tuition with a full stomach later. Tata.

PS: Super happy trip back. Totally makes my day. Hehe. (o^_^o)

WeiQi
19/12/1990
Temasek Polytechnic
Sagittarius
♥♥♥

Wish

♥Him again =P
♥driving license!!
♥Overseas dream fulfiled
♥better grades this sem
♥Wallet
♥♥♥

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